When I started this blog I was hoping I could reach other fathers who, like me, witnessed the birth of their sons with expectations of non-stop kickabouts down the park and bike rides around the block. But our reality turned out to be different. In many ways better and more rewarding, but undoubtedly different.
I already knew of some of the influencers: There are some great parents: Gill Dixon immediately springs to mind (thanks for the timely seatbelt advice in particular!) with her unrivalled experience of supporting a dyspraxic family. Then there’s the Dyspraxic Copper with his experiences in what must sometimes be the most physical of vocations or MikeysWish, championing the cause for verbal dyspraxia. Plus, Professionals like Dr Sally Payne and the superb Dyspraxic Doctor. What’s more, phenomenal professional writers like Jenny Hollander and Maxine Frances Roper, using their skills to provide firsthand experience of living with dyspraxia as an adult.
But what’s new is that a whole community has opened up. Everyday people facing many of the challenges we all face - like finding fulfilment in our family, personal and professional lives - but living it all with the added difficulties of dyspraxia. Those sharing experiences of growing up with the condition are particularly useful to me as a parent. Among many great examples is Alice Hewson’s recent blog on her school days. It was so enlightening for me as a parent who wants to do what’s best for his son and a reminder that there are always consequences, intended or otherwise.
The other day, I witnessed these tweets from Alice and Maxine, discouraging use of the label “inspirational” when coupled with disability and encouraging a focus on acceptance that people find certain things difficult. This is undoubtedly important, but I’m not sorry to say that the entire dyspraxia community I’ve come across is an inspiration for me whether they like it or not! Inspiration to know that I’m human, I’m fallible and I have made many mistakes (and will make many more). Inspiration to know that - whilst dyspraxia challenges are constant - people adjust, adapt, gain Masters degrees, swing golf clubs, pass driving tests. Inspiration to do my best as a father. Inspiration to keep going and doing everything possible to support the development of another fine dyspraxic adult.
So, I have two questions for all dyspraxic adults to answer:
- Is there one thing your parent(s) / carer(s) did particularly well in supporting you growing up as a child with dyspraxia?
- Is there one thing they didn’t do but you wish they had done (or did just a little/ occasionally but wish they’d done more of)?
Irrespective of whether you received a diagnosis in adulthood or childhood, please tell me your answers via this blog’s comments section, Twitter (@dyspraxiadad) or a personal message via Twitter (with anonymity assured). If I get enough, I’ll report back on my findings. I promise I’ll find your response insightful and, dare I say, inspirational!